I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
