do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
