Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
