I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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