Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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