she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
