she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
