I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
