I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
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