Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
