i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
