I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
