Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
