Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
