Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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