Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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