Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
