they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have aggressive nipples.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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