the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize