A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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