i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
