I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
