if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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