Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
