tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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