We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
