Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
