I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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