Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
