It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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