i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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