Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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