Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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