Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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