at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
