I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
