did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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