eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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