I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
