Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
