how can u be prego again
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize