I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
pray to the hookup gods
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
