great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
