you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
