Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize