If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
