I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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