Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
