I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
