you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
