a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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