wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it glows. i had to have it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
