So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
