But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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