There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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