Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
