I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
