Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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