Having a random hookup so left but love u
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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