Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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