There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
