it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
