saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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