ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
